Don't go back over your life with a red pen.

Would it be ironic if we had to go back to Iraq to rid it of the Al Quaeda that wasn't there before we got there to rid it of Al Queda?

I've always wanted to do more significant stuff. I think of myself as well-informed, but the hardest thing to do is talk about politics and current events and be funny and not just preachy.

Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.

If you try to pop the unpopped kernels in the microwave, you go back in time.

No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!

What I need is an Urban Thesaurus. I know what money is what I need is 600 different ways to say it.