Don't go back over your life with a red pen.

The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.

Don't go back over your life with a red pen.

The popcorn button on the microwave is a miraculous invention. More miraculous than even the microwave itself.

I really think I'm at the top of my game right now, and I have the tools that I've learned over the years, so I feel really good about what I'm doing onstage now.

My brother is a tax guy, and the way I look at it, it's like he's spending his life saving money for rich people. So I think making strangers laugh, at least having a creative component to your profession, is more manageable for me. I can live with that a lot easier.

When you're gay every party is a bad sweater party.