Don't go back over your life with a red pen.

The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.

Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.

Without my family, I'd be something.

I really shine in front of prominently Jewish crowds. Normally I really beat myself up, but as far as Jewish audiences go, I'm at the top of my game.

If you try to pop the unpopped kernels in the microwave, you go back in time.

Maybe a silver lining to growing old is being able to watch Usual Suspects for the first time, again.