Don't go back over your life with a red pen.

I think everything is fair game to a certain extent.

When you're gay every party is a bad sweater party.

Some people hate Jews. Fine, alright it's been done. I mean, that's part of my problem with it. Could you hate somebody new? I'm not giving you any suggestions but the Belgians have had a good run.

As a child I most closely identified with Charlie Browns teacher. Nobody listened.

The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you're talented.

Ever drive by one of those things on the highway which tells you how fast you're going? I don't even pay attention to them anymore because I found a similar gadget in my dashboard... Some people slow down at those things... I don't slow down. I speed up and set the high score.