Two things I dislike about my granddaughter - when she won't take her afternoon nap, and when she won't let me take mine.

He has a brain like Einstein's - dead since 1955

I went to school with a kid who was so smart, the only time he got an answer wrong, they had to go back and change the question.

What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure.

Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever.

Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Pop-pops have only so many horsey rides in them.

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.