My granddaughter and I are inseparable. She keeps me wrapped around her little finger.

When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.

Leisure: A fancy word for people who don't want to admit they're bored.

I don't intentionally spoil my grandkids. It's just that correcting them often takes more energy than I have left.

Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.

He has a brain like Einstein's - dead since 1955

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.