Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.

He has a brain like Einstein's - dead since 1955

Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age - once you learn to keep a cork in it.

"You're more trouble than the children are" is the greatest compliment a grandparent can receive.

Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition - with the possible exception of closet space.

My granddaughter and I are inseparable. She keeps me wrapped around her little finger.