Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.

Grandchildren: the only people who can get more out of you than the IRS.

When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.

In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day. It's either that or buy a new golf ball.

Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.

It's time to diet and exercise when you accept the fact that you can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time - but not while you're wearing a bathing suit.

Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven't thought of yet.