Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.

Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition - with the possible exception of closet space.

My grandkids believe I'm the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too.

He has a brain like Einstein's - dead since 1955

Leisure: A fancy word for people who don't want to admit they're bored.

"You're more trouble than the children are" is the greatest compliment a grandparent can receive.

Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Pop-pops have only so many horsey rides in them.