When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age - once you learn to keep a cork in it.

Two things I dislike about my granddaughter - when she won't take her afternoon nap, and when she won't let me take mine.

I'm now as free as the breeze - with roughly the same income.

Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."

An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly.

Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever.