Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever.

I went to school with a kid who was so smart, the only time he got an answer wrong, they had to go back and change the question.

Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world--an assigned parking space.

An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly.

Leisure: A fancy word for people who don't want to admit they're bored.

I'm now as free as the breeze - with roughly the same income.

On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town.