Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever.

What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure.

On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town.

I don't intentionally spoil my grandkids. It's just that correcting them often takes more energy than I have left.

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age - once you learn to keep a cork in it.

I went to school with a kid who was so smart, the only time he got an answer wrong, they had to go back and change the question.

Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.