Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition - with the possible exception of closet space.

On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town.

I don't intentionally spoil my grandkids. It's just that correcting them often takes more energy than I have left.

Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Pop-pops have only so many horsey rides in them.

Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven't thought of yet.

Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."

Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.