Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever.
What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure.
Leisure: A fancy word for people who don't want to admit they're bored.
I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.
My grandchild has taught me what true love means. It means watching Scooby-Doo cartoons while the basketball game is on another channel.
Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition - with the possible exception of closet space.