Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.
Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."
Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.
On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town.
Leisure: A fancy word for people who don't want to admit they're bored.
I like to do nice things for my grandchildren - like buy them those toys I've always wanted to play with.