On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town.

I'm now as free as the breeze - with roughly the same income.

Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition - with the possible exception of closet space.

Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.

Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Pop-pops have only so many horsey rides in them.

He has a brain like Einstein's - dead since 1955

It's time to diet and exercise when you accept the fact that you can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time - but not while you're wearing a bathing suit.