Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."

My grandchild has taught me what true love means. It means watching Scooby-Doo cartoons while the basketball game is on another channel.

I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.

Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."

Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition - with the possible exception of closet space.

On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town.

Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven't thought of yet.