Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."

I like to do nice things for my grandchildren - like buy them those toys I've always wanted to play with.

An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly.

Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Pop-pops have only so many horsey rides in them.

Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition - with the possible exception of closet space.

I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.

On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town.