Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."

Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven't thought of yet.

I don't intentionally spoil my grandkids. It's just that correcting them often takes more energy than I have left.

I went to school with a kid who was so smart, the only time he got an answer wrong, they had to go back and change the question.

Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world--an assigned parking space.

On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town.

Leisure: A fancy word for people who don't want to admit they're bored.