Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."

What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure.

In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day. It's either that or buy a new golf ball.

Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever.

Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Pop-pops have only so many horsey rides in them.

I'm now as free as the breeze - with roughly the same income.

On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town.