What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure.

My granddaughter and I are inseparable. She keeps me wrapped around her little finger.

It's time to diet and exercise when you accept the fact that you can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time - but not while you're wearing a bathing suit.

Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."

I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have - if only for self-defense.

Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.

Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world--an assigned parking space.