What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure.

I'm now as free as the breeze - with roughly the same income.

What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure.

My grandchild has taught me what true love means. It means watching Scooby-Doo cartoons while the basketball game is on another channel.

It's time to diet and exercise when you accept the fact that you can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time - but not while you're wearing a bathing suit.

On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town.

I always give my grandkids a couple of quarters when they go home. It's a bargain.