It's time to diet and exercise when you accept the fact that you can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time - but not while you're wearing a bathing suit.

Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven't thought of yet.

In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day. It's either that or buy a new golf ball.

I always give my grandkids a couple of quarters when they go home. It's a bargain.

I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have - if only for self-defense.

On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town.

Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."