It's time to diet and exercise when you accept the fact that you can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time - but not while you're wearing a bathing suit.

He has a brain like Einstein's - dead since 1955

Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Pop-pops have only so many horsey rides in them.

My grandkids believe I'm the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too.

Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.

An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly.

Two things I dislike about my granddaughter - when she won't take her afternoon nap, and when she won't let me take mine.