The great advantage of a hotel is that it is a refuge from home life.

A man who desires to get married should know everything or nothing.

All autobiographies are lies. I do not mean unconscious, unintentional lies: I mean deliberate lies.

A man is like a phonograph with half-a-dozen records. You soon get tired of them all; and yet you have to sit at table whilst he reels them off to every new visitor.

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

In literature the ambition of the novice is to acquire the literary language; the struggle of the adept is to get rid of it.

My religion? Well, my dear, I am a Millionaire. That is my religion.