The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

As long as you don't fly openly in the face of society, society doesn't ask any inconvenient questions; and it makes precious short work of the cads who do. There are no secrets better kept than the secrets everybody guesses.

The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.

What is virtue but the Trade Unionism of the married?

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

You can always tell an old soldier by the inside of his holsters and cartridge boxes. The young ones carry pistols and cartridges; the old ones, grub.

Reformers have the idea that change can be achieved by brute sanity.