The churches must learn humility as well as teach it.

We are told that when Jehovah created the world he saw that it was good what would he say now

The great secret, Eliza, is not having bad manners or good manners or any other particular sort of manners, but having the same manner for all human souls: in short, behaving as if you were in Heaven, where there are no thirdclass carriages, and one soul is as good as another.

I do not want to make my stomach a graveyard of dead animals.

When God created man and woman, he did not take a patent. That's why any imbecile has been able to do so ever since.

Hell is full of musical amateurs.

My situation is a solemn one: life is offered to me on the condition of eating beefsteaks. But death is better than cannibalism. My will contains directions for my funeral, which will be followed, not by mourning coaches, but by oxen, sheep, flocks of poultry, and a small traveling aquarium of live fish, all wearing white scarves in honor of the man who perished rather than eat his fellow creatures. It will be, without the exception of Noah's Ark, the most remarkable thing of its kind ever seen.