People always get tired of one another. I grow tired of myself whenever I am left alone for ten minutes, and I am certain that I am fonder of myself than anyone can be of another person.

If a woman rebels against high-heeled shoes, she should take care to do it in a very smart hat

You can always tell an old soldier by the inside of his holsters and cartridge boxes. The young ones carry pistols and cartridges; the old ones, grub.

When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, "The one I feed the most."

A man who has no office to go, to I don't care who he is, is a trial of which you can have no conception.

I try to follow his example, not to imitate him.

The ability to make witty observations is commonly refered to as "cynism" by people who lack it.