Me and a mate picked up two darling birds and they took us back to their flat. I went into the bedroom with my bird and she started getting undressed. I was that drunk I was standing there wondering how to get undressed without letting go of the award. I went to sit on the bed, missed it by four feet and ended up lying on the floor. I remember the bird looking down at me, and saying, ‘Some player of the year.’ Then I fell asleep. I woke up still clutching my award and staggered out of the flat. I hadn’t a bloody clue where I was.

I must be the only person in the world who's looking forward to going into hospital. I can't wait to get it over and done with.

I'd have to be superman to do some of the things I'm supposed to have done, I've been at six different places at six different times.

They say Paul Gascoigne is the new George Best but has he shagged three Miss Worlds?

Cristiano Ronaldo's was the most exciting debut I've ever seen. There have been a few players described as 'The New George Best' over the years, but this is the first time it's been a compliment to me.

Football is a sad game.

Love is about mutual respect, apart from attraction.