There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.

Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice; no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.

If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.

And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'