There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.

I'd rather be over the hill than under it.

I'd say that about 82 percent of what I write is bad, but don't go by me; I'm as bad a judge as I am a writer. Look, if it were all good, you'd be paying twice as much for this book.

Sex is the Universal Language in which nobody speaks; they don't have to.

I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.

Take care not to wear stripes that are out of sync with your wrinkles.