Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been trying that for forty years.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.