Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been trying that for forty years.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.

It's one of the old show business axioms. No matter how successful you've been, there's always a younger and sexier seal coming along.