This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.

If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.

I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.

Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice; no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.