Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
I would read Playboy more often, but my glasses keep steaming up.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
It's one of the old show business axioms. No matter how successful you've been, there's always a younger and sexier seal coming along.