First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.

People are always asking me when I'm going to retire. Why should I? I've got it two ways - I'm still making movies, and I'm a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.

By [age] 93, I had shrunk quite a lot. My car was known as the Phantom Cadillac. People would see it whizzing by and they would swear there was no driver.

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.