When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.

People are always asking me how much I'm worth. Well, all I can say is, I've got enough money to last me the rest of my life. As long as I die in the next 20 minutes.

It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.

In those days the best painkiller was ice; it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.

From Paris we took the Orient Express to Vienna. I must say I was terribly disappointed; nobody was murdered on the train.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.