When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.

Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.