You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George BurnsI like women to be attracted to me. See, when you get 60 years old, and they know you're 60, the only women you can get are 55-year-old women, and I like younger women.
George BurnsLots of people have asked me what Gracie and I did to make our marriage work. It's simple - we don't do anything. I think the trouble with a lot of people is that they work too hard at staying married. They make a business out of it. When you work too hard at a business you get tired; and when you get tired you get grouchy; and when you get grouchy you start fighting; and when you start fighting you're out of business.
George Burns