With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.

Well, anybody can be a straight man if he hears well. You just have to wait for laughs. A straight man just repeats the questions and the comedian gets the laughs and you just wait for them and don't let them die completely at the tail end of the laugh.

I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.

I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

Dress simply. If you wear a dinner jacket, don't wear anything else on it ... like lunch or dinner.

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.