I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

A married couple that plays cards together is just a fight that hasn't started yet.

I don't worry about getting old. I'm old already. Only young people worry about getting old. When I was 65, I had Cupid's eczema. I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.

It's one of the old show business axioms. No matter how successful you've been, there's always a younger and sexier seal coming along.

Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .

I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.