I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.

None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.

I don't worry about getting old. I'm old already. Only young people worry about getting old. When I was 65, I had Cupid's eczema. I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.

I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.