Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.

If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.

A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.

Fall in love with what you're going to do for a living. To be able to get out of bed and do what you love to do for the rest of the day is beyond words. I'd rather be a failure in something I love than be successful in something I hate.

At my age flowers scare me.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

When they saw me walking down the street smoking a cigar, they'd say, 'Hey, that 14-year-old kid may be going places.' Of course it's also a good prop on the stage ... When you can't think of what you're supposed to say next, you can puff on your cigar until you think of your next line.