Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Fall in love with what you're going to do for a living. To be able to get out of bed and do what you love to do for the rest of the day is beyond words. I'd rather be a failure in something I love than be successful in something I hate.

I'd say that about 82 percent of what I write is bad, but don't go by me; I'm as bad a judge as I am a writer. Look, if it were all good, you'd be paying twice as much for this book.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

Everyday happiness means you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot.