If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.

I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.

I don't worry about getting old. I'm old already. Only young people worry about getting old.

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

When I was in Vegas women were throwing their hotel keys at me. But it was after they checked out.