When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'

When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.

I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.

When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.

People are always asking me when I'm going to retire. Why should I? I've got it two ways - I'm still making movies, and I'm a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.

I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.