McDonald's breakfast for under a dollar is actually more expensive than that. You have to factor in the cost of bypass surgery.

If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain

You know something I could really do without? The Space Shuttle. ... It's irresponsible. The last thing we should be doing is sending our grotesquely distorted DNA out into space.

Energy experts have announced the development of a new fuel made from human brain tissue. It's called assohol.

Jesus was a cross-dresser.

So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.

Part of the pleasure of being alive is the knowledge that you're not dead yet.