Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.

Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.

Brenda [Carlin] went into therapy and I soon joined her. First we put the drugs behind us, then we began serious work on our relationship. And, in time, we got well together.She just drove through a hotel lobby. Now, that's bottoming out.

Sometimes, when I was really loaded, I'd sit on the floor and sort out every nut and bolt in the house. It was just sheer insanity. And often there'd be speed in the cut, so I was a speed freak, too.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

I try not to see new comics - their acts or their films. Part of that is professional. I don't want to be influenced. But another part is fear and jealousy. I'm afraid to see how good they might be. I don't like that emotion, but it's part of me.

Tits always look better in a pink sweater.