Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.

Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."

The older I got, the more apparent it became that my mother was losing control over me. She fought back fiercely with black moods, silent treatments and martyrdom. And, of course, all she did was run my ass out of the house even quicker. The pressure was unbearable.

Somebody once said that Hollywood is based on a lot of producers deliberately making bad movies, and every now and then somebody gets lucky.