Political discourse has been reduced to "Where's the beef?" "Read my lips," and "Make my day." Where are the assassins when we really need them?

So I want to thank the Pentagon, the Soviet Union and the military-industrial complex from the bottom of my heart. Without them, I could never have become the man I am today.

Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations; he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.

People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.

Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.

For a while, I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. It's a shame everything has to have a label.

Self-expression is a hallmark of an artist, of art, to get something off one's chest, to sing one's song. So that element is present in all art. It is the key to even standing up and saying, "Hey, listen to me." Self-expression can be based on looking at the world and making observations about it.