I've set my own rules to live by. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'

Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.

There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.

Looking back, I realize that my life has been a series of incidents where one person has said to another, "Get this asshole outta here!"

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

I became a guy who wanted to be a comedian someday, or a comic actor. The way I put it was, I'll be like Danny Kaye. He was kind of the model I had in mind.

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!