I've set my own rules to live by. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'

Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.

I make fun of people who are religious, because they're fundamentally weak.

Two things happened. The creative side of my career was harmed. When I'd sit down and write under the influence of coke, the ratio of pages kept to pages thrown out declined drastically. But onstage, when rapping about a feeling I already owned, I would sometimes get a burst of eloquence.

You don’t see many of these white anti-abortion women volunteering to have any black fetuses transplanted into their uterus’s, do you? No, you don’t see them adopting a whole lot of crack babies, do you? No, that might be something Christ would do.

Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.

If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?