I've set my own rules to live by. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'

I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.

The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even an entire industry devoted to keeping an eye on other people's stuff. This is how stupid it's got. If you decide to get rid of a lot of your stuff, you can give it to a thrift shop or to Goodwill.

One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

People think life is real complicated. Actually, there's nothing to it. Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple.