Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Then you're just what they're looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.

To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.