In the Navy, there is no wrong hole. In the Marines, there is always a hole.

It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.

The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.

[On School Uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now they have to make them look alike too? It's not a new idea, either. I first saw it in old newsreels from the 1930s, but it was hard to understand because the narration was in German.

Life is sacred? Who said so, God? Hey, if you read history you'll realize that God is one of the leading causes of death...has been for thousands of years. Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Jews, all taking turns killing each other because God told them it was a good idea.

If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.