Where ideas are concerned, America can be counted on to do one of two things: Take a good idea and run it completely into the ground, or take a bad idea and run it completely into the ground.

Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.

The worst thing about e-mail is that you can’t interrupt the other person. You have to read the whole thing and then e-mail them back, pointing out all their mistakes and faulty assumptions. It’s frustrating and it’s time-consuming. God bless phone calls.

In terms of coke, the only money I ever thought about was that dollar bill I had stuck up my nose.

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?

None of the Christian religions do [interest me]. They're all outer-directed.

I believe you can joke about anything.