Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
George CarlinWhen I was young I used to read about the decline of Western civilization, and I decided it was something I would like to make a contribution to.
George CarlinI also survived circumcision, a barbaric practice designed to remind you as early as possible that your genitals are not your own.
George CarlinI think you can talk about anything if the context is correctly arranged. If you set up the context and you bring the audience along carefully enough with you, you can get them to cross the line with you. What I try to do is talk about things that bother me, and I hope that in doing so I bother other people.
George Carlin