They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!

On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.

Geologists claim that although the world is running out of oil, there is still a 200-hundred-year supply of brake fluid.

I was kind of sweet kid, according my mother, and my recollections. Thoughtful and good, but kind of alone - although I didn't interpret it that way, as such. Children never interpret these things. They think they understand logically.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?