When people asked me, "Do you get high to go onstage?" I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning.

Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.

They mention that it's a nonstop flight. Well, I must say I don't care for that sort of thing. Call me old fashioned, but I insist that my flight stop. Preferably at an airport.

Next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you're in a science fiction movie. And whisper, 'The creature is regenerating itself.'

This country was founded by a group of slave owners who told us that all men are created equal.

One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.

The future will soon be a thing of the past.