When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention to.

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.

The first obligation I have is to be funny; it's my first impulse and an instinct. I like being funny and finding the jokes.

The habits of liberals, their automatic language, their knee-jerk responses to certain issues, deserved the epithets the right wing stuck them with. I'd see how true they often were. Here they were, banding together in packs, so I could predict what they were going to say about some event or conflict and it wasn't even out of their mouths yet. I was very uncomfortable with that. Liberal orthodoxy was as repugnant to me as conservative orthodoxy.

Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.

One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.

It's a "keep your fingers crossed" business, the entertainment business.