You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
George CarlinI was once dancing with a woman who told me she had a yeast infection so I told her to bake me some bread.
George CarlinHumor is based on surprise, and surprise is a milder way of saying shock. It's surprise that makes the joke.
George CarlinPeople are wonderful. I love individuals. I hate groups of people. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. And armbands. And fight songs. And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking.
George Carlin