Because we were a poor area, the school had a small budget and was unable to teach the second half of the alphabet.

If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?

When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.

Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe.

My tombstone? I'm thinking something along the lines of, 'Geez, he was just here a minute ago.'

I've set my own rules to live by. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'

Next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you're in a science fiction movie. And whisper, 'The creature is regenerating itself.'