Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

So I want to thank the Pentagon, the Soviet Union and the military-industrial complex from the bottom of my heart. Without them, I could never have become the man I am today.

Now, some people do this for shock value. Shock is just another uptown word for surprise. Granted it has a different quality to it, but a joke is about surprising someone. I'm a great believer in context. You can joke about anything. I do like finding out where the line is drawn, deliberately crossing it and bringing some of them with me across the line, and having them be happy that I did.

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.

Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.

We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.

If you're reading it in a book, folks, it ain't self-help. It's help.