Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing

Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?

This country was founded by a group of slave owners who told us that all men are created equal.

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.