My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.

Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.

They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.

I hope we're not just human garbage drifting toward a big sewer. But I think so.

Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.

People are wonderful. I love individuals. I hate groups of people. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. And armbands. And fight songs. And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking.

There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.