My mother didn't get home until about seven most nights and, yes, there was a sense of being very alone after school. She gave me all the proper guidance and influences, but physically, she just couldn't be there.

An art thief is a man who takes pictures.

The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.

Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.

The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.

At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure

When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.