If anyone e-mails you something "by George Carlin," there's a 99 percent chance I did not write it. I didn't write "Paradox Of Our Time." I didn't write "George Carlin On Aging." I didn't write a eulogy for my wife after she died. I didn't write the New Orleans thing. I didn't write "I Am A Bad American." None of them. You know what I've decided to do? I'm going to get a little cheap put-it-together-yourself website called NotMe.com.
George CarlinOne thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
George CarlinIf lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?
George Carlin