Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

The older you get, the better you realize you were.

Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.

The Golden Gate Bridge should have a long bungee cord for people who aren't quite ready to commit suicide but want to get in a little practice.

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

I have a suggestion that I think would help fight serious crime. Signs. There are lots of signs for minor infractions: No Smoking, Stay Off the Grass, Keep Out, and they seem to work fairly well. I think we should also have signs for major crimes: Murder Strictly Prohibited, NO Raping People, Thank You for Not Kidnapping Anyone. It's certainly worth a try. I'm convinced Watergate would never have happened if there had just been a sign in the Oval Office that said, Malfeasance of Office Is Strictly Against the Law, or Thank You for Not Undermining the Constitution.

Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.