Have you noticed when you wear a hat for a long time it feels like it's not there anymore? And then when you take it off it feels like it's still there?

I never took reds or Quaaludes to balance out the coke. So when it got to be four in the morning and the gram was three quarters gone, I'd start wishing it was nine o'clock and hoping the guy got up early. But, of course, he didn't sleep either, so there was no sweat. During all those years, I was always looking forward to the next snort or the next guy I could score from.

Sometimes, when I was really loaded, I'd sit on the floor and sort out every nut and bolt in the house. It was just sheer insanity. And often there'd be speed in the cut, so I was a speed freak, too.

How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelette?

I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.

There's some invisible guy, up in the sky, who can kill you, because he loves you.

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.