When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National
She was only a prostitute, but she had the nicest face I ever came across.