How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelette?

A pear is a failed apple.

Shopping and buying and getting and having comprise the Great American Addiction. No one is immune. When the underclass riots in this country they don't kill policemen and politicians, they steal merchandise. How embarrassing.

Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money.

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.

I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream. So there is some compulsion involved. But the dividend I get is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.