I always have these little internal monologues. You'll get used to them.
As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up.
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
If a lobster didn't look like a sci-fi monster, people would be less able to drop him alive into boiling water.
You get to play with people's little danger zones.
Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.