People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.

Property is theft. Nobody "owns" anything. When you die, it all stays here.

President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.

When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons.

It's nothing but a big stroke job in this country. The government strokes you every day of your life. Religion never stops stroking you. Big business gives you a good stroke. And it's one big, transcontinental, cross-country, red, white and blue stroke job... Do you know what the national emblem for this country ought to be? Forget that bald eagle. The national emblem of this country ought to be Uncle Sam standing naked at attention saluting, and seated on a chair next to him, the Statue of Liberty jerking him off. That would be a good symbol for the United Strokes of America.

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?