Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.

One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.

How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.