In the doggie dictionary, under "bow wow" it says, "See "arf arf.""

Comedy, I figured, was the thing that came to me the most easily. Playing the trumpet and piano took practice. I thought that was a waste of time. I'd go out on the street corner and be funny. In a minute.

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

In the United States, anybody can be President. That's the problem.

Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.

If voting changed anything, it would be illegal.

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.